The Road That Led Me Back to Jesus

 

Romans 8:28

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

 

Thinking about my life and how it could have been different.

Isn’t it strange?

What if I would have said yes to that one thing that could have radically changed my life. A different time and a different place. Would I?

I can clearly see the fork in the road before me now. It feels like a test…one that challenges whether I will continue to be influenced by the world around me or choose to pursue a path that leads me closer to Jesus. This path is undoubtedly steeper and filled with hardships that could have broken me, yet instead, they have shaped me into the person I am today.

I can't express how grateful I am; it feels like an understatement. When I made the decision that led to this particular fork in my life, it shattered my heart into countless pieces. The pain lingered for years, and to be honest, it was an incredibly difficult experience.

I have always been a warrior, battling through life's challenges. I exchanged what I believed to be love for something far more painful, leaving a deeper mark on my soul.

This recent trip brought back some profound memories from my early twenties, revealing truths I had long buried. I came to the unsettling realization that my feelings for my ex-husband were not rooted in love but rather in the shadows of my past grief. He exploited my vulnerability, taking advantage of the emotional turmoil, I was still grappling with from a previous relationship. It became clear that narcissists often seek out those who are broken, believing they can swoop in and "fix" them, but in reality, they only deepen the wounds.

Brokenness can create moments that feel unlovable. When someone begins to shower you with affection and prioritizes you, it's essential to remember their true intentions. If their behavior shifts to suffocating you and isolating you from your family, consider it a significant warning sign. This tactic of seclusion is often a deliberate strategy to exploit your vulnerabilities.

Years later, a broken girl looking for love and God sent me the best of the best.

It was during this time of uncertainty that a new chapter quietly began…

When I first met Jeffrey, we were both navigating our own brokenness, searching for meaning in our lives. In him, I found solace, a sense of certainty that he would always be a part of my journey from that very moment. Despite the trials and the scars left by past abuse, he remained steadfast by my side. I am grateful for him every single day.

It was a turning point in my life when someone came into my world, genuinely concerned for my well-being. After my separation from my ex-husband, I returned home and started working at a salon in Victoria, but the financial struggle was real. Restarting my career in a new town meant building a clientele from scratch, and the lack of stable income was exhausting.

 Feeling overwhelmed, I reached out to my cousin Traci, asking if I could stay with her until I found my footing again in San Antonio.

I was eager to leave Edna behind, sensing that I had exhausted all it had to offer.

God had other plans for me. Not a minute to soon, a genuinely kind and gentle man came into my life, and it became evident that returning to San Antonio was not part of my destiny. Jeffrey and I quickly developed a deep friendship, and it felt as though the right path was revealing itself to us.

Our relationship was founded on the strength of friendship, characterized by his unwavering patience as I navigated the aftermath of abuse. The paranoia that lingered was a justified response to the multiple instances of stalking by my ex-husband.

 Jeffrey never ran away from the challenges we faced; instead, he took my hand and reassured me that everything would be alright. He encouraged me to trust that there was more to come, even as the date of my divorce felt like it was dragging on for an eternity.

I clearly remember the love and compassion he showed me during those years marked by constant trauma. He consistently prioritized discussions about our feelings, and we frequently exchanged our experiences, reflecting on the challenges we encountered. Throughout this journey, our conversations became a wellspring of strength, helping us to face the pain together.

Jeffrey has witnessed both my strengths and flaws, yet he has never chosen to turn away. His unwavering commitment and genuine affection are always evident.

In a moment of chaos and confusion, it felt as though God had sent me the ideal companion to help navigate the turmoil of my life. The struggles I faced seemed insurmountable at the time, leaving me questioning their purpose and the difficulty of my journey. However, with hindsight, I now understand the reasons behind those challenges and the invaluable lessons they brought.

Looking back, every painful twist in the road had a purpose. It brought me closer to Jesus, and to the man who loves me as I am. That’s something I will never take for granted.

 

Our Wedding Song